Monday, March 21, 2011


Recently one of my patients asked a very loaded and unassuming question; though it seemed rhetorical in nature, he truly wanted an answer. The question was in relation to his illness.

To comply with HIPAA, i'll paraphrase --
"I'm a good guy. Though I'm not innocent, i've lived unselfishly. I'm filled with all these good intentions. Everything is changed. Forty four years…" He smiles and looking straight at yours truly says, "Son, what have I done to deserve this?

This is one of those moments im forced to place in a box.
There are questions that have no fair answer. Trying to find meaning in unforeseen tragedy is probably the hardest internal task to undertake if you must. He is trying to find reason(s) vs. meaning in his ending. He is past the denial, the bargaining, and acceptance phases of tragedy, he's asking the ultimate metaphysical question in the world of Karma-- why do bad things happen to good people?

There is irony in this scenario: unlike the lady in the adjacent bed who nearly succeeded in slicing both her radials, this guy has never needed reasons to live. In the background I could hear a man chastising the lady, trying to convince her that only JC can fill her emptiness and that life without God isn't worth living.

Whenever, if ever, reasons are necessary to explain our existence, then we’ve lost something very special. On a lighter note, I heard someone say today that its practically  impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry-- I think i'll go rent Happy Feet.

1 comment:

o.O said...

I guess he's on his ninth step since he accepted is illness, finish being angry and already bargained and failed...

It's hard to answer that question because in reality, there aren't any questions. I guess we can figure out why or the cause of it, but in general, it does't matter--it makes how you live out the rest of your life.